Fallen missionaries - cougarguard.com — unofficial BYU Cougars / LDS sports, football, basketball forum and message board

MikeWaters · 08-11-2010, 03:52 PM

I recently found a missionary I served with on facebook. He was a great guy, very serious about missionary work, dedicated, selfless. Somewhat quiet, but I would have gone to war with him.

I don't know if disappointment is the right word. If staying active in the church is a mark of having "survived", then this is a battlefield strewn with dead bodies. Friends, family, everyone. Nothing is a surprise anymore.

Someday I may see him and say, of all people, I thought you would have been with us. Not in chastisement or anger. But the disappointment of not going to war with the brothers you have loved.

Zulu451 · 08-11-2010, 11:50 PM

Sometimes I imagine that this is what it must have felt like to land at Normandy where you are trying to press forward seeing others get blow away, stopping to take account of your own wounds and thinking "therefore by the grace of God go I".

I have a great deal of empathy for people who at one point had strong testimonies and later changed their views and positions. While I was young, dumb, and much more judgmental I struggled to see how it could happen. Now, I worry that it could ever happen to me.

MikeWaters · 08-12-2010, 04:40 AM

It's also interesting why some people come back to the church, after long absences.

One guy in my ward came back because his nonmember wife pushed him to get their family involved in a church, she gave the LDS church a try and was converted, perhaps moreso than him.

Another guy came back. When asked why, said, "You know why. Because it's true."

We should create worship communities where people feel valued and welcomes, and the experience is such that their is joy in fellowship. Where friendships grow in number and strength. Easier said than done.

Archaea · 08-12-2010, 01:13 PM

Well, there are many reasons why people stay, leave and return. As your second post suggests, we should improve our community so the disenfranchised wish to stay or return.

ute4ever · 08-12-2010, 06:23 PM

Many people age 15-25 (give or take) join a church for social reasons. Some of them are converted; some see a mission as no more than a Peace Corps-esque worthwhile activity, and never truly separate the gospel from their personal wants.

These days, learning that someone who was active then but is a clubber now is nothing new; his gratification is the same, just at a different venue.

Archaea · 08-12-2010, 11:51 PM

Some suffer disillusionment in life, loss of loved ones, illness, loss of job and assets, find disturbing aspects about the organization or its members or a collection of all of those things.

It's much easier living a life as a missionary, when you don't worry about finances, relationships, function within the ward or other matters.

You come to serve and you become a somebody, even if you were a nobody beforehand.

You meet people who are thankful for what you have to say.

You develop convictions and for the most part they're not challenged significantly. Certainly disappointment confronts you, but you're involved in a common cause with like minded individuals.

After you return many of life's real items settle in and it's not so easy being valiant.

08-11-2010, 03:52 PM	#1
MikeWaters Demiurge Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 36,367	Fallen missionaries I recently found a missionary I served with on facebook. He was a great guy, very serious about missionary work, dedicated, selfless. Somewhat quiet, but I would have gone to war with him. I don't know if disappointment is the right word. If staying active in the church is a mark of having "survived", then this is a battlefield strewn with dead bodies. Friends, family, everyone. Nothing is a surprise anymore. Someday I may see him and say, of all people, I thought you would have been with us. Not in chastisement or anger. But the disappointment of not going to war with the brothers you have loved.

08-11-2010, 11:50 PM	#2
Zulu451 house-elf 3rd class Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Boston, MA Posts: 386	Sometimes I imagine that this is what it must have felt like to land at Normandy where you are trying to press forward seeing others get blow away, stopping to take account of your own wounds and thinking "therefore by the grace of God go I". I have a great deal of empathy for people who at one point had strong testimonies and later changed their views and positions. While I was young, dumb, and much more judgmental I struggled to see how it could happen. Now, I worry that it could ever happen to me. __________________ <---- Mikewaters drives the lane...

08-12-2010, 01:13 PM	#4
Archaea Assistant to the Regional Manager Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: The Orgasmatron Posts: 24,338	Well, there are many reasons why people stay, leave and return. As your second post suggests, we should improve our community so the disenfranchised wish to stay or return. __________________ Ἓν οἶδα ὅτι οὐδὲν οἶδα

08-12-2010, 11:51 PM	#6
Archaea Assistant to the Regional Manager Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: The Orgasmatron Posts: 24,338	Some suffer disillusionment in life, loss of loved ones, illness, loss of job and assets, find disturbing aspects about the organization or its members or a collection of all of those things. It's much easier living a life as a missionary, when you don't worry about finances, relationships, function within the ward or other matters. You come to serve and you become a somebody, even if you were a nobody beforehand. You meet people who are thankful for what you have to say. You develop convictions and for the most part they're not challenged significantly. Certainly disappointment confronts you, but you're involved in a common cause with like minded individuals. After you return many of life's real items settle in and it's not so easy being valiant. __________________ Ἓν οἶδα ὅτι οὐδὲν οἶδα

08-12-2010, 04:40 AM	#3
MikeWaters Demiurge Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 36,367	It's also interesting why some people come back to the church, after long absences. One guy in my ward came back because his nonmember wife pushed him to get their family involved in a church, she gave the LDS church a try and was converted, perhaps moreso than him. Another guy came back. When asked why, said, "You know why. Because it's true." We should create worship communities where people feel valued and welcomes, and the experience is such that their is joy in fellowship. Where friendships grow in number and strength. Easier said than done.

08-12-2010, 06:23 PM	#5
ute4ever I must not tell lies Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 5,103	Many people age 15-25 (give or take) join a church for social reasons. Some of them are converted; some see a mission as no more than a Peace Corps-esque worthwhile activity, and never truly separate the gospel from their personal wants. These days, learning that someone who was active then but is a clubber now is nothing new; his gratification is the same, just at a different venue.