If you had a gay brother

[MikeWaters]

would you prefer that he go through a series of live-in gay partners over the decades, or would you prefer that he be married to one stable partner?

[Archaea]

I doubt I would have a preference. Spouses come and go, but siblings remain. For me, although I can be friendly with spouses or partners, they really don't matter to me.

[marsupial]

Originally Posted by Archaea

Spouses come and go...

Are you quoting Elizabeth Taylor here?

I think, gay or straight, commitment and monogamy are better for individuals, families and societies. But I am not the psychiatrist. What do the studies say?

My cousin recently "divorced" her partner of more than a decade. The break up was hard on her parents and siblings who had been treating her partner as family.

[TripletDaddy]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

would you prefer that he go through a series of live-in gay partners over the decades, or would you prefer that he be married to one stable partner?

My close friend (not brother, though) is with the same guy now for about 2 years. They seem pretty happy and are making an incredible combined income, so they get to travel, eat out, and fun things like that.

I would prefer stability and happiness for my friend. A series of relationships is usually less fulfilling than one stable one, regardless of sexual orientation, and even when the relationships are legitimate, not hook-ups.

My friend lives in SF, like your brother. He and his partner bought a pad in Noe Valley, very cool little place outside the City. They like it.

The one thing I asked my friend was to promise to be safe and not to get HIV. I was being serious. I knew that once gay guys come out of the closet, they often go through a period of all out hedonism, esp if they move to SF. I just wanted to make sure he survived all of that and didnt do anything that was going to end his life prematurely. Maybe I was being paranoid and sterotyping, but it was something we discussed pretty openly and honestly. I am glad we discussed it.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by marsupial

Are you quoting Elizabeth Taylor here?

I think, gay or straight, commitment and monogamy are better for individuals, families and societies. But I am not the psychiatrist. What do the studies say?

My cousin recently "divorced" her partner of more than a decade. The break up was hard on her parents and siblings who had been treating her partner as family.

That's why I never view any spouse of siblings as permanent, because if you lose them, it hurts. Everybody besides family is temporary.

If part of the gay lifestyle is the bathhouse, at least for some, why should they limit themselves to just one? Let them wine and dine for as long as they wish.

[marsupial]

Originally Posted by Archaea

If part of the gay lifestyle is the bathhouse, at least for some, why should they limit themselves to just one? Let them wine and dine for as long as they wish.

STDs?

Oh, and I also believe there is something to be said about keeping intimacy, intimate.

[BYU71]

Originally Posted by MikeWaters

would you prefer that he go through a series of live-in gay partners over the decades, or would you prefer that he be married to one stable partner?

Why would anyone choose to have a sibling, whether gay or not, have a series of live in partners over one stable partner.

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by marsupial

STDs?

Oh, and I also believe there is something to be said about keeping intimacy, intimate.

For men, intimacy is often not intimate. I am led to believe that proper use of prophylactics even in the bathhouse situation can greatly reduce STDs to a point where it shouldn't be a concern.

In reality, if I had, which I don't, relatives who were gay, then I'd rather not know about their sexual activity. And if they wanted a bacchanalian lifestyle, then so be it.

[Flystripper]

I'd want him to be happy. Based on my experience happienss is easiest to achieve in a stable loving relationship.

[marsupial]

Originally Posted by Archaea

For men, intimacy is often not intimate.

I believe it is that way for a lot of people, men and women. It's a very empty and selfish view of sex. At the end of your life you've had a lot of orgasms, and few, if any, meaningful relationships.