Mormonophobia and homophobia, part 2

[SoonerCoug]

Should gay Mormon men be encouraged to come out of the closet instead of trying to "overcome" their sexual orientation by getting married?

[Indy Coug]

Extrapolated, is it a good thing to publicize our sins and weaknesses to the other members of the church at large?

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by Indy Coug

Extrapolated, is it a good thing to publicize our sins and weaknesses to the other members of the church at large?

A good observation.

I would imagine a member should advise leaders of the struggle, but keep quiet about it with members at large.

I don't agree one should marry if one doesn't feel one can be committed sexually to that relationship. Again I believe that is true for heterosexual people as well.

[SoonerCoug]

Originally Posted by Archaea

I don't agree one should marry if one doesn't feel one can be committed sexually to that relationship. Again I believe that is true for heterosexual people as well.

I agree with what you said.

The problem is that there is huge pressure to get married in the temple, etc. Gay men often live in denial (or hope that something will change) because of that pressure.

[BYU71]

[QUOTE=Archaea;102126]A good observation.

I would imagine a member should advise leaders of the struggle, but keep quiet about it with members at large.

I don't agree one should marry if one doesn't feel one can be committed sexually to that relationship. Again I believe that is true for heterosexual people as well.[/QUOTE

It is a crap shoot. You may marry a heterosexual mate, but when it comes to committment to sex, you might have well as married a gay person. At least when you cheated on them (a gay person you married) the rest of the ward would understand.

[SoonerCoug]

Originally Posted by BYU71

It is a crap shoot. You may marry a heterosexual mate, but when it comes to committment to sex, you might have well as married a gay person. At least when you cheated on them (a gay person you married) the rest of the ward would understand.

So what is the best way to determine whether your future spouse is heterosexual or homosexual without violating the law of chastity? If gay Mormons won't come out of the closet, the Church should at least cover some strategies for detecting gay people. (For example, this could be covered in marriage preparation classes.)

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by SoonerCoug

I agree with what you said.

The problem is that there is huge pressure to get married in the temple, etc. Gay men often live in denial (or hope that something will change) because of that pressure.

I am by no means an expert on this issue, in fact other than being aware of scientific research, I am probably the last person to identify with it. It is completely alien to me.

However, given the foregoing caveat, I understand there are spectrums of gayness, hard core and bicurious.

If a person is bicurious, work out those issues first, then proceed after you've decided.

If you're hard core, then for heaven sakes, don't marry.

I might even go further, because I don't know how a peson could go a lifetime without sex. I really can't see how being a member would be meaningful. That is contrary to Church counsel, but it's my own personal opinion that gays might be comfortable elsewhere (what would it be like to know you're constantly disfellowshipped, can't take sacrament or go to temple?). And I don't know what sort of theological accommodation the LDS Church can make. I can't see one.

It's an occurrence for which I have no explanation. I had at one time my own concocted explanation, but now I don't. On this issue I'm nonplussed. Nature isn't served by it. Humanity isn't benefitted by it, but those who are so oriented are socially confined. There are other less public conditions that leave one scratching one's head, but that's certainly the most public.

[jay santos]

Originally Posted by SoonerCoug

So what is the best way to determine whether your future spouse is heterosexual or homosexual without violating the law of chastity? If gay Mormons won't come out of the closet, the Church should at least cover some strategies for detecting gay people. (For example, this could be covered in marriage preparation classes.)

Don't we as a society kind of already have a method for distinguishing gay people from the rest of society?

[Archaea]

Originally Posted by SoonerCoug

So what is the best way to determine whether your future spouse is heterosexual or homosexual without violating the law of chastity? If gay Mormons won't come out of the closet, the Church should at least cover some strategies for detecting gay people. (For example, this could be covered in marriage preparation classes.)

A lot of jesting here, but as far as heterosexuals are concerned one should be able to tell if the other is aroused.

However, lack of premarital sex can result in not being sexually compatible.

[SoonerCoug]

Originally Posted by Archaea

Nature isn't served by it.

There are non-reproductive members of almost every species on earth, and these animals confer an advantage by contributing to the survival and/or prosperity of the species. Non-reproducers often have particular abilities. It's also advantageous for a species to have non-reproductive members because they can especially enhance group efforts (hunting, etc.) since these animals are not constrained by parenting duties.