Are we a Prozac People?

[RedHeadGal]

Originally Posted by Archaea

I don't doubt your characterization is part of the equation, but it just seemed so surreal, so lacking in humanity. Yes internal resolution and some peace with events is important for psychological health, but the attitude about a very horrible thing not bothering them seemed very Children of the Cornish. Dali would be proud.

In reality, I kinda expect people to internalize more, "it was horrific, and still pains me from time to time, but I've come to grips with it in this manner...."

How can we build up those who suffer if we expect them to "just have faith and get over it?" It also ignores those will biologically originated emotional difficulties and many other issues. It appears to me, we believe "Gospel" answers everything like magic, but perhaps I'm oversimplifying.

I do feel like I have heard some "it was hard" expressed in context with how people explain their healing process. But maybe for the purposes of church lessons, it feels like the wrong place to let the bad parts hang out. They can be very personal and very individual.

E.g. My mother died of cancer several years ago. She was relatively young, with children still at home. Her diagnosis was terminal from the start, so from that point in her life, she underwent treatment but was basically deteriorating. And when she died, I would have to say the chief emotion for my family was relief. Relief that the moment we had been dreading had finally come. Relief that she wasn't sick any more, etc. They [who made this happen, I can't recall] even trotted out her children to sing at the funeral. (I dissented, as I thought it was too much to ask for us to perform, but I was overruled). Anyway, I was also relieved that my mom was gone. This is terrible to say, but she and I had a very difficult relationship--made worse and not better with her terminal diagnosis--and she had a power over me that no one else did. I hated it. So that lifted at her passing. I hesitate to type it here, too, because it seems so ungrateful, which I don't think I am.

Anyway, after the funeral, I returned home and realized that I didn't have to call my mom to tell her I arrived safely. I didn't have anyone to call because no one else would have been wondering. And I just lost it. But underlying all that was the feeling that I, who was relieved at her passing, had no right to grieve. For a long time I walked a balance of how much I thought it was okay for me to feel bad--maybe I still do. It was a complicated story for me, and a personal one.

I would not tell this story in a church class without tying it up in a neater bow. I bet everyone has stories like that but they just question their faith-promoting aspects. Whether that's a bad thing is perhaps subject to debate.