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02-23-2008, 02:28 AM | #1 | |
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Bednar on taking offense--true or not?
http://www.lds.org/conference/talk/d...646-32,00.html
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02-23-2008, 02:33 AM | #2 | |
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02-23-2008, 02:36 AM | #3 | |
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I understand that Bednar would say that it is your own choice to have those feelings, but I'm not sure I agree. I think being human means that you experience things in ways you don't consciously choose. Or maybe that's not what Bednar is saying. Maybe he is saying that you shouldn't let such feelings devastate you forever. Not to let it drag you down permanently. Who knows. Is it true wisdom, or is it pop-psychology that doesn't allow for the acknowledgment of true hurt? You be the judge. |
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02-23-2008, 04:16 AM | #4 |
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I tend to agree with Bednar.
I decided long ago that I would not allow what others do to dictate the course of my everyday life. I understand what you folks are saying, but ultimately I am the decider of my life. I also believe that taking offense is the easy way to deal with something - especially with criticism. The difficult thing is to either ignore comments and not allow it to have an effect on us. I don't think Bednar is talking about emotions. Taking offense isn't an emotion, it's a reaction, IMO, though I may be wrong about what taking offense is.
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02-23-2008, 11:27 AM | #5 |
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Elder Bednar is 100% correct. He didn't say it was easy not to be offended in the most extreme instances, but the simple fact remains that our emotional reactions to words and actions are NOT involuntary.
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02-23-2008, 12:16 PM | #6 |
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I guess I would need to see it more fully fleshed out. On the one hand I do think there are some scenarios in life that for all of us are like being poked in the eye. It doesn't matter how much self control you have, there is going to be an internal emotional reaction. So I wouldn't agree that we can always control how we feel. I do know that we can control our response.
On the ohter hand if what he meant is that we can train ourselves to become people who rarely even have those feelings of offense and that this is a choice, then I agree. But I don't think you can ever completely eliminate feelings of offense. Some people become so humble and Christ like that they are hard to offend. I am remarkably hard to offend but it is because I care so little what most anyone else thinks. Thick skin because of pride probably isn't what he meant, maybe I should work on that.
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02-23-2008, 12:25 PM | #7 | |
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Would you have an involuntary and or voluntary emotional reaction? I would be furiously offended, and I don't think it would be possible for me to "choose" not to be offended. |
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02-23-2008, 02:11 PM | #8 | |
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"The Devil made me do it!" |
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02-23-2008, 02:28 PM | #9 |
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Mostly I think it's true. To me and I think a lot of other people equate taking offense the same as holding a grudge. When someone takes offense at something....how often does it stick around? A long time.
While I agree with what Mike has to say regarding incendiary and inflammatory situations or other situations that would blindside us, still I think in the long run, heck even the short run we can CHOOSE whether or not to remain offended. ESPECIALLY whereas interaction among other members of the church are concerned. I really do believe that there members of the church who are looking to be offended or find ANY excuse they can find to set them off, when in reality there are different underlying isses that are there, but where their anger or reactions were brought to the surface as a disguise for something else.
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02-23-2008, 03:39 PM | #10 |
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To simplistic for me. I could agree or disagree. I think the real choice is how you react to being offended.
I can see myself in a situation where someone is throwing out the F bomb around my grandkids. I can see myself asking someone to knock it off. I am not going to sit there and determine whether I want the person to stop because I am offended, annoyed, angry, hurt or just don't want my grandkids hearing that language and thinking it is acceptable. I looked up the definition of the word and one place provided 12 synonyms. I think as Elder Bednar defined it, I could pretty much agree. What he says provides something to think about, but isn't an absolute. |
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